How To Maintain A Long Distance Relationship
- Leigh Gordon
- Mar 4, 2018
- 5 min read
Hi guys! I know I'm two months late but Happy New Year! *throws confetti*.
For the past four years (December 14th will make it four years) I've been in a long distance relationship with my soulmate. He migrated to live in the USA a couple months after we got together. At first I was extremely worried and afraid! I'm going to be brutally honest with you, we had our share of doubts. What if he/she found someone waaaay better? What if he/she stopped loving me because of the distance? All those questions were on our minds. It's normal to have those thoughts, especially when it is your first time entering into a long distance relationship. The first six or seven months after he left were rough; arguments and trust issues constantly arose. We somehow got over that stage and here we are four years later.
I will share with you four (4) tips that made it work.
1. COMMUNICATION IS KEY
Communication is a very important part in EVERY relationship and marriage. Without it, it most certainly will not work. This does not mean you both have to communicate ALL DAY long (literally speaking). Remember you have responsibilities such as your job, school/studies, doing chores/running errands etc. Oh yes! Let's not forget, you both have to sleep too! However, it is vital that you manage to squeeze in some "us time". For example: a)while you're getting ready for work/school OR you're on your way, give them a call even if it's for five minutes. b) During breaks send a text message, leave a voice note or if you're lucky enough to both be on break at the same time hit that call button.
As I've mentioned earlier, arguments were constant in our relationship. You will find that these will be a lot more frequent than when he/she was here. Instead of ignoring each other by declining calls and leaving text messages on read (ladies we're definitely guilty of this), swallow your pride and fix it. I repeat, fix it. Never ever end your day on that note.
There should be no excuses as to a lack of communication because we are living in a time with multiple means of communication and also you can never be too busy to dedicate a minute or two of your time to him/her.
2. TRUST IN HIM/HER
Trust plays a very important role in EVERY relationship and marriage. It is never normally easy to trust in a long distance relationship; in the beginning that is, for us. I remembered there being a time where I had found it hard to trust him. Being unable to not see what he was doing, where he was going or who was with him was definitely a pain. I kept thinking that "Oh yes he's definitely going to cheat on me because I'm not there!" STOP. Before you made the decision to be with him/her you knew the type of person they were and what you were getting yourself into. Yes I know it has become extremely hard to tell these days because you've seen it happen on TV, to someone close to you or it had happened to you but it doesn't always have to be that way. What if your man/woman has morals, was brought up by the right people and lives by the saying "One woman One man"?
How I knew I could trust him: a) He ALWAYS stayed true to his word. b) He was raised by his mother who helped mould him into the most thoughtful, kind, loving, respectful and disciplined individual I've ever met. His mother (along with some teachings from his father) taught him how to treat a woman. c) He tells me everything- whether it be who he's with, where he's going and what he's doing.
Listen keenly and observe the things they do and say. Hopefully based on what you have gathered you will feel a bit more comfortable in trusting them. However, if there are any doubts, do not be afraid to confront them because a relationship or marriage where there is no trust, doesn't normally last.
3. PLAN TRIPS TO SEE HIM/HER
It is important that you plan trips to see them every now and then. Two or three times a year is great but if given the opportunity to visit over that amount, take it in a heartbeat! Texting and video chatting becomes depressing after a while because it restricts you from being able to touch or feel them.
For an upcoming trip, have something special planned for the both of you to make it a memorable one. For instance, whenever we visit we spend the weekend at a 4 or 5 star hotel and then our date nights are usually spent either at a movie theater, a very nice restaurant or something simple such as riding along the lake. That has now become "our thing" each time we visit for the past three years.
4. SURPRISE HIM/HER WITH AN UNEXPECTED GIFT
Receiving an unexpected gift from your loved one can really move you, especially if your miles upon miles a part. You don't necessarily have to wait for events such as Valentine's Day, their birthday or your Anniversary to send a gift or two their way; those are expected from you. What would really make them feel more special was if you surprised them when they least expected it!
For instance, I remembered hearing him talk about buying new shirts to update his wardrobe but he didn't have the time to do so because of work and school. I took it upon myself and went and looked online for shirts that I thought suited him. Within a week or two he received his package. He was so surprised and extremely appreciative of such a small gesture. He did the same for me too but this was on my birthday last year. I wasn't expecting anything at all or planning on going anywhere to celebrate like I have been doing for the past couple of years. I went to work and treated it like any other normal day. Turned out my day was not going well at all until I received a bouquet of flowers from him! I was so surprised and grateful that I almost cried.
It's not the end of the world when in a long distance relationship. Many couples have found ways to make it work so that means you can too! Invest some time in trying out new things TOGETHER that can help make the relationship work. Hope these four tips are helpful! Have a great weekend guys! Please remember to like, share and subscribe to my blog. You can also leave a generous donation (donation buttons at the bottom of each page) to the Petfinder Foundation.
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